January 22, 20140 comments
Imagine two villages. Both have just received a decree from the kingdom that henceforth, all jousting tournaments will share a few commonalities: the same length field, the inclusion of age brackets, and a staff of healers on hand to keep injured jousters from dying of their wounds. In the first village, tournaments resume, with all the pageantry and heroism of old, though now the field is two feet longer, jousters charge one another five times instead of four, and the required healers mend a broken clavicle every now and again. In the second village, the lord goes nuts. He tells the knights the decree came about because they’re all so ineffective at jousting. “We must keep up with Normandy!” he shouts, frothing at the mouth. “If we don’t, then doom will follow! Doom, I say!” Henceforth, decrees the mad lord, all knights must wear the same size armor, whether they’re 6 foot 10 or 5 foot 6. No more of those messy coats of arms and pennants of various colors dangling from mismatched lances, either.